By Danel 
Once time is gone, it is gone forever and never given a second chance. Among the wisdoms that enable us to use our time effectively is to distinguish between what we say “yes” to and what we say “no.” But sometimes we find ourselves in a life of being forced to say “yes” to everything. The result is that we waste time on things that are not our goals and desires. Why does this happen?
The tendency to help everyone: Some people feel like they have to help everyone who asks for help.
Fear of being seen as evil: The root of some people’s inability to say no is the unfounded fear that “people will think I’m evil.”
Fear of being left out: “Group spirit” is a serious issue that can cause people to feel pressured. If a person is afraid of being left out of the group, it can lead to a tendency to agree to whatever the group members suggest.
Fear of conflict: Some people have a tendency to get angry and resentful if we don’t willingly comply with everything they ask of us, so they force us into a position of power.
Fear of missing out: You may be someone who says yes to everything you ask for because you fear missing out on an opportunity. This person is pressuring you to say no to a request you make today, and you may not get what you want from them tomorrow.
Some people don’t want to hear “no” for an answer. So, they will use any means they can to pressure you into doing their bidding. Below, we’ll look at how to identify such people and how to approach them.
- “Shangai” – People may use a lot of flattering words to get you to do something they want you to do or to take you in a direction they want you to go.
- “Criticism” – Some people will tell you that you have no time for everyone else, that you have no time for them, and that they are disappointed that they did not get what they expected of you. After feeling guilty, they will pressure you to do what they want because you are being criticized.
- “Obstacles” – Some people will try to get you out of your path by saying, “What would you be like if you did this just for today?” and pressuring you to deviate from your plan and line and lean toward their ideas.
- “Naughty people” – Some people are always there for people and make you feel like you are the only one who cares about people, and that you and anyone else don’t care about them, so you feel like you have to be the one to save them from their misery.
- “Bullying” – Some people are simply bullies. They use threats, anger, and intimidating words to try to intimidate you and get you to do what they tell you to do, so you can get away with it.
Basic views
- You should not say yes to something you do not believe in. Remember this, if you do not believe in something from your heart, you should not do it just because of external pressure.
- Remember that when you learn to say no to things you don’t believe in, you begin to respect yourself. People respect you when you respect yourself. One sign of self-respect is living up to what you believe in.
- Take your time with things you’re not sure about. You don’t have to answer every question everyone asks you right away. Take your time with things you’re not sure about.
- Listen to your inner feelings. If you say yes to something but then feel compelled or oppressed inside, think about when you should have said no and learn from that experience.
- Avoid harsh words. You don’t have to be harsh or mean to say no to something you don’t believe in. You should adopt a simple approach and decide not to waver from your response.
- Don’t give a “dead” reason. If you say, “I’m tired right now,” when you don’t want to do something, the person will wait until you feel better tomorrow. This is called a dead reason. On the other hand, if you politely tell him that you don’t want to do it, the matter will end there.
- Know that whether you say yes or no to a request made by someone who accepts and loves you does not prevent them from accepting you. Knowing this will protect you from saying yes to every request that comes your way, lest you lose acceptance.